


Gazing at the stars in the night, i prayed

by RandomLeo



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Backstory, Canon Divergence, My boy Geisen deserves love and hell yeah i'll give it to him, Original story + non-canon content, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-10-02 00:17:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomLeo/pseuds/RandomLeo
Summary: Before he was the Chariot. Before he was the bringer of war. He was but a man. One who one night found himself trying to reach for the stars.This is the story of how he came to that moment.





	Gazing at the stars in the night, i prayed

I was never one who knew about peace. Nor felt the need to know.

I grew in war. Were molded by it. When you grow up in a battlefield you need to learn to survive fast. And so i did.

It was painful. It was hard. It was scary. But i survived. 

Never stopped. Never rested. Stopping would be death in those days.

War wasn’t scary anymore. Maybe because i never knew anything else, it became my normality.

I remember the first time i didn’t need to fight. The war was over, and the people were all happy around me, celebrating, hugging each other. It was late night, a cold one, but it felt… warm. I started laughing, i had no idea why, but i did. I ate good food that night. It was delicious. I also drank something bitter, and found myself tipsy soon after. No matter, i laughed some more. It was ecstasy, and i had no idea why i felt that way.

I felt asleep in the floor, looking at a black sea full of little lights. They were beautiful.

But soon after came something else. They called it “normality”.

I realized something was wrong with me when i couldn’t accept it.

I expected another battle that never came. Everyday was the same. Even when i woke up at night, expecting some ambush that never happened, or saw people with hidden swords at every corner. People fought for this. But i never had it in the first place, so i never could call this peace mine. Finally, i left, looking for my normality elsewhere.

I discovered that war was a constant in this world. When it left one island, it went for another. Sometimes for righteous reasons. Sometimes for selfish motives. I didn’t care, i just fought, so i could take back the fury, the pain, the fear. I made myself a path in every battlefield, and came victorious. No one could stop me, and people soon knew my name everywhere. They called me names. Unstoppable. Juggernaut.

Chariot.

I fought. I survived. And then saw in the distance that first night of peace under the stars, where I always found some strange feeling of solace. There. There was my place in this world, only for a night. But I would find another battlefield and fight again. And find it again. My home.

One day I came to a certain kingdom. I didn’t know why war started there, non I cared. But there were plenty of smiles when i enlisted. They knew about what i did before, and considered me an asset to their victory. Their numbers weren’t much, mostly young ones without battle experience, so my arrival made wonders for their moral.

—Excuse me! Mister Geisenborger!

—What do you want, child? You should be sleeping now. Tomorrow we march.

—I-I know… I just… wanted to thank you for helping us.

—I’m just a mercenary. This is my work. I don’t need thanks.

—But still… it’s reassuring having The Chariot in our side. I’m sure we will make it and bring peace to everyone thanks to you. 

Young ones were naïve. But there was… something in them. Maybe hope. Maybe ignorance. But it was… strangely warm. They had a reason to fight with their all, so they could bring peace to their people, or make them proud. I never understood them, but still, that warmth felt like that first night of celebration. And it was inspiring.

We were the vanguard. We clashed against the enemy army in the middle of the desert. In that first fight many lost their lives. We could break their ranks, but with heavy loses. Our generals saw that fight as a victory, but the soldiers not. It was almost always like that with the young ones. That warmth dies fast in front of the coldness of war.

And I would pity them, because they weren’t like me. Their normality weren’t my normality.

—…Mister… Geisenborger?

—What are you doing awake? Tomorrow we march.

—… I can’t sleep and… can I ask you something?

—What?

—You… you get used to… this. To war… right?

—Maybe.

—Maybe?

—You know peace. It’s different for you.

—Sorry, I don’t…

—Just think in the peace you know. You’ll find solace in that memory.

—… I understand.

Was that a lie? I don’t know. I really don’t. But it usually works. Finding something that drives you to the next day. For me, was survival, then the thrive of the fight and the night. For them, maybe something else. 

The next fight was not better than the first. And the next one. And the next to that. I saw that this army was just meat shield so the generals could make moves behind lines. It wasn’t the first time for me, but the rest were starting to realize how everything would end.

—Stars… blazing across the heavens… listen to my ode to thee… see me returned… r-returned gloriously to my kingdom…

—What are you doing, boy? Tomorrow we march.

—M-Mister Geis-! I am-! I was…

—…

—… I was… praying to the stars… so I would see my people…

—To the stars? Nonsense.

—B-But they listen! That’s what my mother always said to me when I was a kid and…

—…

—… I’m sorry… I just…

—I don’t need to hear your excuses. Just go to sleep.

—I probably should… uh… mister… where are you going?

—Not your business. Go to sleep.

It wasn’t my first time. When you fight long enough, you priorize victory over things like honor. It wasn’t hard, the enemy weren’t expecting such an action for the vanguard. The next day, their ranks were destroyed without the command of his general, and victory was ours.

Our generals, however, weren’t as happy. Word came to them about my actions, and so i became someone who took their victory away from them. People started to talk about me. Look at me as someone dangerous to them. Rumors spread. I didn’t care about it in the moment.

—Hey… you think that what the generals said is true?

—No way, mister Geisenborger wouldn’t betray us! He saved us!

—But what kind of warrior would go assassinating in the night? If he’s the Chariot he should’ve faced them in battle!

—That doesn’t make sense! If it weren’t for that we would’ve been dead by now!

—Then why he didn’t do anything before!? That way no one would’ve need to die!

—That’s…

—I only say this because I want you to be safe. Be careful. And if you see him doing anything strange you should say it.

—…

Then it came the final battle. The vanguard and the rest of the army clashed against our enemies. I rushed across enemy lines, breaking their ranks. I fought fiercely, like always, until I faced their commander. He was strong, and his sword cut deep, but i didn’t care. Punch after punch, until his skull cracked. And then…

—Another battalion! Everyone, retreat!

An ambush. I was too deep, and it was too late when i saw them coming. The rest of my battalion were far away from me. I shouted so they could lend me a hand, but no answer. Shouted again. Nothing. No one turned their backs at me. It dawned on me then. I was alone.

So i did the only thing i could. Fight. In the crescent cold of the sunset, and with the taste of dust and blood in my mouth, I fought. Until the sky turned black, and the stars came to shine, i fought.

And then there was nothing else to fight.

I walked. One step, and then other, searching for any clue of my companions, but nothing. I could only smell dry air and metal everywhere, and my body became colder with every step. I had no supplies, no water, and carried only the wounds of the previous battle.

Then I couldn’t walk anymore, and fell.

It was painful. It was hard. It was cold.

—Rgh… This may be the end…

I closed my eyes, thinking. I was born in war. It was only natural that i died in war, too, around the corpses of my enemies and allies, where our blood would become one and the same in the desert sand. The final destination of the unstoppable Chariot.

I embraced the idea of my end. Then i opened my eyes. Before me, a sea of black with a myriad of white lights. I smiled, remembering my first night of peace, when i first felt at home in this world.

—What better pyre could there be for me for my send-off to the great beyond…

I extended one hand to the sky. I felt like i could touch it. I, then, saw one star shining brighter than the rest.

I remembered every night of celebration. Every little moment when i felt truly alive. At home. They were so ephemeral and alien, but strangely comforting.

And my sense of peace disappeared, to be replaced with a deep dread.

Because in that second i saw my life. One who just knew war, and moments that felt like illusions, shadows of something that i never truly discovered nor understood. And everything i did with my existence suddenly felt so minuscule and useless and _cold._

I felt so scared because i was dying like this. Why? What else could it be for someone like me? I don't get it, yet...

My lips trembled. I tried to reach that star so hard. Even when i never believed in something else that my own strength, in that moment i wanted to believe. Believe that there was something else that would show me what my life lacked. That would have something more for me. That would show me _warmth_. 

And I did the only thing I could do.

—Stars, blazing across the heavens… Listen to my ode to thee… See me returned gloriously to my kingdom… 

I was crying. Why? The last time i cried felt so far away, but now the tears wouldn’t stop. They felt strange, and wet, and warm. My tears were warm…

Why?...

—Stars… blazing across the heavens… Listen to my ode to thee… See me returned gloriously… to my kingdom…

I said it again. And again. And again, trying to reach that brilliant star, i wanted to believe so hard that someone would listen to me in the middle of the cold desert. I wanted hope in something i never knew. If i could, i would scream at the heavens with all my might.

—Stars, blazing across the heavens!… Listen… to my ode to thee!… See me returned… returned gloriously… to my kingdom!…

I felt so cold… and numb… everything was going black… and felt less scared and cold… i couldn’t feel anything anymore. Just that ache of a wishful thinking, that wish for something. What was it?...

—Stars… blazing across… the heavens… Listen… to my ode… to thee… See me… retur… re…. tur…ned…. to my…

I couldn’t see. Nor hear. Nor anything. And still, i heard a voice. Calling to me. Before anything disappeared.

_“Thy prayer… will not go unanswered…”_

**Author's Note:**

> I love my depressed boy and i had this since i read his story. I wanted to go deeper in what could make a man like him, got a little too much into it, hahaha. Hopefully you like this little story!
> 
> #BorgerFansUnite (?)


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